Last week I went on a date with my Maddy girl. It was a wonderful day …they always are with that little one. She came with me to run a few errands then we went to balboa park to have a picnic and visit some museums.
I was a few weeks away from 16 when she was born. Old enough to know where babies came from and young enough to be totally weirded out by the thought of my parents conceiving. They were in their mid 30’s for crying out loud! Old!!! …Well, according to my 16 year old idea of what old was.
But then life with that little freckled blondie started. We would watch her tv shows together. She would sit in my lap and eat Cheerios and I would smell her head. She would eat yogurt and in her high chair and I would cheer her on as she poured it on her head. She would sit on the counter and bounce up and down with her little nose scrunched. She became the subject of all of my photo projects and she expressed her own creativity by drawing on my dresser, comforter, walls, and sometimes even the dogs. I wish I could say I was mad but I loved it. I left the drawings on my unfinished wood dresser until the day I moved out.
She reminds me so much of me in certain ways and I just love her. I love her heart. I love that she’s stubborn, feisty, and loud but in a quick second will turn shy, tender, and incredibly sensitive. I love that part of her because I understand it. I love that she’s not afraid to be creative and I love how giving her heart already is of her passions and talents. I love the way she thinks and the questions that she asks. Like, “why is there a wall between us and Mexico?”. She teaches me to be patient and reminds me to slow down. She brought a whole new, fun, excitement to our family and we’re all better because of it.
Sometimes when she sleeps over I’ll watch her little eyelashes flutter while she dreams and I can’t help but feel my stomach flop and a lump form in my throat at the thought of how old she’s getting. At the thought that our slumber partying days may be numbered and that I may not be fun and cool to her forever. She’s already transitioned from Dora and Caillou to iPods and Justin Bieber. I just don’t know how parents do it! I’m only her big sister and I feel a strange resistance to her Bieber crushing ways haha. Shouldn’t her only crush still be Mickey Mouse? Man, what a wild wild ride parenting will be some day…